Losing life and finding it

For stability means that I must not run away from where my battles are being fought, that I have to stand still where the real issues have to be faced. Obedience compels me to re- enact in my own life that submission of Christ himself, even though it may lead to suffering and death, and conversatio, openness, means that I must be ready to pick myself up, and start .all over again in a pattern of growth which will not end until the day of my final dying. And all the time the journey is based on that Gospel paradox of losing life and finding it. ..my goal is Christ. Esther deWaal 

The Roman Catholic bishops may be moving in a direction to reinforce a kind of cult like existence.  Which turns the word, Catholic, upside-down. 

In the Episcopal Church I’ve had my own experience of those in authority wanting to silence me.  Even our most liberal form of Catholicism has its totalitarian and autocratic moments.

Most of the Roman bishops don’t like the President’s views on abortion. Fair enough. I’m sure they are also disturbed by the percentage of members who don’t agree with their teaching.[i] Twice in my 50 years as a priest I’ve had either diocesan or parish leaders so upset with my expressed views that they sought to suppress the documents or have me punished for daring to say what I’d said.[ii] 

I often wonder how many others are been attacked. How many needed conversations inhibited and buried. 

In my own experience, and what is happening in the Roman Catholic Church, I believe that all those involved are Apostolic Christians and genuine in their views.  They believe something like this, organizational leaders need to avoid publicly stating views that disturb the unity of the Body and confuse the less mature members of the Body. Some of the Roman bishops think the President has committed the sin of scandal. All that comes out of a tradition in the church of leaning toward maintaining harmony by emphasizing the impact on the spiritually immature.[iii]  It’s the logic that because someone might get upset everyone should walk on eggshells. We the bishop's understand what you're saying and doing; it's the ignorant masses we're concerned about.

The alternative is for bishops to gather together and say what they believe. Even to expect it to be read in the churches. And for the faithful to listen with respect.  We require more of that Benedictine form of obedience -- to listen with the ear of our hearts, to ponder and consider what is being said. We need that kind of a obedience. The obedience of listening and respect not of servile conformity.

The teachings and wisdom of the bishops (Roman and Episcopal) are not mere suggestions nor are they infallible pronouncements. They need to be listened to. The difficulty arises when those with power want to be listened to but aren’t willing to actively engage those who disagree with them. They don’t really want a listening community. They don’t want the conversation.

I don’t believe in magic. The impulse to engage or flee from people and ideas that make us uncomfortable will never disappear. The church and society will always face a struggle. Will our harmony be largely based on refusing to acknowledge and engage our differences or will it be based on behavior only possible as we engage our patience, humility, persistence, and courage?

All of it is part of the journey.

      And all the time the journey is based on that Gospel paradox of losing life and finding it.  

      -E. deWaal

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[i] A 2008 Marist College Institute Public Opinion survey reported that 36% of Catholics who attend church at least twice a month, consider themselves "pro-choice"; while 65% of non-practicing Catholics considers themselves "pro-choice", 76% of them says that "abortion should be significantly restricted". According to the National Catholic Reporter, some 58% of American Roman Catholic women feel that they do not have to follow the abortion teaching of their bishop. 

[ii] The first time was when “Stay in the City” was published. The second was when Michelle Heyne and I published St. Paul’s Parish: Growth and Decline ( and a website with more context). In the first, after the booklet inspired an overwhelmingly positive response in the church as a whole, the assistant bishop (a good friend who agreed with me) came to me saying, “You need to start looking for another position outside the diocese.” There were members of the diocesan staff and a few other influencers who wanted me punished. I ended up on the staff of another diocese where that bishop had given “Stay in the City” to the Diocesan Council saying, “This is the kind of thing I want to do here.” In the more recent case, the local bishop told me he wouldn’t license me to function unless I agreed to do no more writing about  St. Paul’s or other parishes in that diocese. I returned my license. Some parish leaders attempted to have me punished by filing a Title IV complaint. That resulted in a pastoral letter from my bishop to me (I don’t live in the diocese in which I am canonically listed). It was a most agreeable message that he and I worked on together. There was also a failed attempt to force me to remove the article from the web. It’s still unclear whether that was initiated by the same “parish leaders” or the local bishop.

There were people in both cases that offered reasoned disagreement with the articles. Those people wanted a conversation. We talked. We wrote back-and-forth. Those who tried to shut down the conversation were in positions of power they tried to use their power to shut down the conversation. Those at St. Paul’s who told us they found our contribution helpful were also not invited to be part of an open discussion of the issues.

[iii] “Therefore, if food causes my brother to sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I may not cause my brother to sin.” (1 Corinthians 8:13) It’s worth noting that his concern is about leading others into sin not about disagreements over mission strategy or doctrine (which have always been common in the church). Paul also wrote, “On the contrary, the members of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable” (I Corinthians 12:22). I’d agree. The difference is that in today’s world where liberal democracy is under attack from the left and the right and the old days of heresy trials and bishops having to approve books  mostly gone– it’s time to take an approach that has more respect for human dignity.

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