Generous, kind, open hearted

It’s the Feast of Saint Joseph. Matthew 1:18-25 is a Daily Office reading.

My parish priest occasionally notes how our parishioners give one another some “slack.” I think he means “slack” in the sense of giving one another some space and being slow to judge rather than meaning lazy and loose. It’s a posture that offers people time to take a stance that is generous, kind, and open hearted. I think it goes along with “being slow to anger.” I see it as the realization that we humans often need a pathway into our better selves, into holiness of life. Our first, gut response may be understandable, even just in some manner. Something has taken place that offends and hurts. Our anger rises to meet the offense and the offender. Such moments override any instinct we may have to show compassion to the offender. So, it is righteous to give some slack, allow some space between our feelings and our action, give a few moments for God to act.

Beyond kindness to sacrifice

Blessed Joseph was a righteous man. So, he quickly acts with kindness toward Mary. She’s unmarried and “with child.” That’s not acceptable in his world. Problematic for so many reasons. The marriage can’t happen. But his stance was to avoid embarrassing her; “unwilling to expose her to public disgrace.” He would “dismiss her quietly.” Joseph’s starting place is kinder than what might have been expected.

And in that moment between resolving to be kind in sending Mary away and acting—God acts.

“Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”

The saint had fallen asleep. He had a dream. There was an angel. There would be a family. The son would be named Jesus.

Today’s collect calls Joseph “the guardian of your incarnate Son and the spouse of his virgin mother.” In our piety it can be easy to lose track of how radical that is. How out of culture and difficult.

There has to be something on the other side of anger

What happen at the Capital on the Feast of the Epiphany was horrifying. Hundreds of the offenders will face trial and many will serve time in prison. That’s as it should be. Still, those investigating have said that many of them were caught up in the mob’s motion. It’s not an excuse. It’s what Reinhold Niebuhr was getting it in writing “Moral Man and in Immoral Society.” We see the same on the other side of our political life. It scares me less because it’s more my tribe. This group is more given to social media and the destruction of lives rather than property.  Still, they get caught up in the mob’s motion. David Brooks wrote of them this morning, “I’ve tried to envision a way to promote social change that doesn’t involve destroying people’s careers over a bad tweet, that doesn’t reduce peoples to simplistic labels, that is more about a positive agenda to redistribute power to the marginalized then it is about simply blotting out the unworthy.”[i]

Before I, or you, get all caught up in our own motion we might take a moment of reflection, even pity, for those caught in illusion. Brooks wrote about his conversation with Esau McCaulley that included the case made by Howard Thurman “that hatred is a great motivator, but it burns down more than the object of its ire. You can feel rage but there has to be something on the other side of anger.” What’s on the other side is forgiveness and reconciliation.

An inner core of silence

In “Reaching Out Without Dumbing Down” Marva Dawn wrote,

It is impossible for our inner selves to be prepared to be open to God and receptive to God’s Word until we silence our sinful selves—our efforts to be in control, to manipulate everything and everyone to accomplish our own purposes....We need the channel of silence to transport us from the busy harbors of our tensions out to the ocean of God’s infinite being.

Getting to the other side of anger, getting to forgiveness and reconciliation, often involves allowing some slack. Getting to a place of generosity, kindness, and open heartedness often involves allowing some space between our feelings and our action, giving a few moments for God to act. Sleeping on it. A dream. A channel of silence. A bit of contemplation. Maybe an angel.

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The Relationship of contemplation and action  

Through prayer  

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[i] A Christian Vision of Social Justice, David Brooks, New York Times, March 19, 2021